Internalizing the views of others results in a failure to take risks, like the hypothetical case of 'Myrtle' who refused to learn how to drive because she believed what her children told her, that she knew nothing about cars (Sherfield 36). Don't rely solely on others for self-assessments suggests Sherfield. What is 'realistic' may differ for both authors. For Brown, realistic may be more in the sense of measurable outcomes, while realistic for Sherfield means a sense of self that is motivating, that doesn't encourage the individual to aim for the stars, but still enables him or her to get out of bed and live a happy, productive life. Reaching for the stars takes smaller goals and concrete, proactive steps in the world and achieving a sense of efficacy and self-mastery and control,...

Having a sense of control 'feels' good. Changing behaviors learned through negative and self-defeating sources of social modeling are possible, according to Sherfield (Sherfield 43). Changing when change is needed is the essence of mental health, whether it is a job or leaving an abusive spouse. Even if Sherfield may be less academically rigorous as an author than Brown, his ultimate aim is to help the reader live a better life, even if this requires fostering a sense of efficacy in the world that may be slightly overstated.
Works Cited

Brown, Jonathan. The Self. New York: McGraw Hill, 1997.

Sherfield, Robert M. The Everything Self-Esteem Book. New York: Adams Media,…